so be it.

The following poem is written from the perspective of Hedda, the main character in Henrik Ibsen’s play Hedda Gabler. With the piece I have written, I intend to elucidate her feelings about the people and events surrounding this fascinating individual. Gaining more insight into Hedda’s personality, the reader will realize her vices and quirks, which makes for a better understanding of her identity. Each stanza dissects an aspect of this complex persona. There is also an accompanying Statement of Intent that I have chosen not to include.




Passion, rage, fire
Burning in my soul and through the papers
Through to a world of death and dance melodies
Of curtains and corsages
A manuscript seared A child gone
Loss of innocent life? So be it.
Eyes burning in their sockets
Reflection
My brain burning in its skull
Charred fragments Pieces of their soul One collective soul
Charred fragments all that remain of
They who disgust me
With hair gold as weeds
With lack of courage Lack of beauty Lack of a better word
Nothing beautiful Just accidents
Curtains, the end, drawing to a close
Something he could not But will

I? Clinging to you who is not my savior
Holding on for dear death
And yet slip
Slip and fall
Deep into Then
Because Now is colorless? So be it.
The color of your times will never flood my life
But always my memory
But you are gone Forever fading
And replaced with a ghost of a trace of a fraction of nobility
Of respect and honor
From your place on high You watch me even in death
I will join you someday Flee far from the place
From him
He will never be you
Never shelter me Keep me

And my crimson pain
Can’t breathe in this life
Trains go on While I wait here
His midnight blindness Flaming ebony blindness
Lack of sight Lack of mind Lack of a better word
‘See I’m drowning in the life he’s made?
No? So be it.
I become jade As the days dawdle Linger Loiter
In these gunmetal gray times
For what is there to live?
In these gray times He has nothing to offer
He speaks of violet mountains and ancient peoples
But the pages of his books are yellowing
Cracking and the words fade white
He tries to revive them With travel With travel
But he is once again blind He sees nothing of what is placed before him
He has nothing to offer But he’ll try to

Shift me Shape me Make me pure
With your lies and perfect words
Pure like deceit Smooth and romantic
Toy with me As I toy with them
Secrets
Not an escape but a freedom
Not a refuge but a relief
Transient amusement? So be it.
You bring me a shape that belongs
Not in love
What is that? I know not
Laugh at me Laugh at my drama
My foolish heart and childish games
You adore them Revel in them
Feed off of my spirit
I squirm under your gaze
You reach for me but Never will I give in

To scandal I say bah
To gossip I say nay
Not afraid but utterly terrified
Discover me not
My nose in the sky I sneer at them all
Another enemy? So be it.
Disrepute shall not tarnish my name
Degrade Deride Dethrone
I shall sooner die than do such
Things
I am ugly I am weak I need salvation
But it lurks in shadows
The answer hides in Dingy dirty squalid shadows
So I clean them Clean but not use them
Polish to perfection I expect to rub right through!
Shiny and inviting But their reflections wreak of scandal
Not for me

Even a moment of indecision
Vile music swirling
Giddy voices chatting
Suspect me not…
Before my eyes no flashes no memories no life no love
Before my choice. Be it so beautiful.
Faster faster racing heart beating heart faster racing
Blood pounding eyes throbbing ears screaming
Hands hot feet cold Arms tremble
Trigger cut my skin cold steel temple
Smile creeps lips part no scream no laugh
Final rush a blow a hole a fire a light a dark
Trickle sweat tickle feel fickle girl with a selfish heart
My poison delivered in powder metal smoke
This is it this was you I will feel beautiful
My criminal hands do it do it do it
Calm before the storm
I wonder what hell looks—